
The Eyes Have Had It
   by Dave Bealer

        "Don't sit so close to the television!  You'll ruin your
eyes!"  Familiar words from childhood for members of the first
true "TV Generation."  If only mother knew what we were in for
once we grew up.  Those of us in the "information professions"
spend entire days staring at modified TV screens that are typi-
cally less than 2 feet from our faces.  Increasing numbers of
employers are admitting the effect that extended CRT usage has on
the eyes of their workers.  Low radiation CRTs, screen filters and
free eyeglass plans are the common reactions of corporations to
this problem. 

        Low radiation CRTs are becoming more common, and mesh
nicely with the low energy consumption policies of the "green
computing" movement.  While these policies are a good idea, they
are hardly original.  Most programmers have had personal low
energy consumption policies, at least while on the job, for years.

    Screen filters have traditionally been the prescribed
answer to CRT induced eye strain.  Unfortunately the cheap filters
used by many firms quickly peel or become discolored.  Eventually
users come to feel they are viewing the screen through a piece of
flimsy stained glass.

    Many of us don't get enough of this abuse at work, so we
plant ourselves in front of PC monitors for hours at a time at
home.  The full color Super VGA monitors we use are getting larger
all the time.  The mega-monitors of the future will require humans
working within the hazard zone to wear modified welding masks to
protect their eyesight.  Of course the hazard zone will extend
from the front of the monitor out approximately 4.8 kilometers.

    For more than ten years I've been working with mainframe
computers, first in college and then for a living.  Since 1986
I've added to the strain by fooling with personal computers at
home almost every night.  Although I knew that my eyesight really
is getting worse (it goes along with being human), I never real-
ized how close it actually was to succumbing to my near-constant
computer use.  Something had to give sooner or later...it turned
out to be sooner.  Recently I began to experience sore eyes and
headaches near the end of my shift at work.  An eye exam showed
only mild astigmatism. 

    Astigmatism is really nothing to worry about, it merely
means that my eyes are misshapen.  Instead of their normal
spherical shape, my eyes now look like a pair of pears.  Red pears
at that, probably Bartlett(Williams).  The only good news was that
my distance vision is still reasonably good.  The exam resulted in
a prescription for reading glasses.  Oh, joy!  Fortunately my
employer has an eyeglass reimbursement plan for CRT users.


    So here I am, one of the clumsiest human beings ever to
stumble around the planet, wearing a very expensive and fragile
collection of wire and finely ground, UV coated, scratch resistant
plastic.  This will last.  Sure.  I hear they've started a pool at
work to guess how long it will be until I sit-on, lose, or other-
wise destroy these silly things.  Nobody took a date more than a
month away.

Copyright 1994 Dave Bealer, All Rights Reserved 
-----------------------------------------------
Dave Bealer is a thirty-something mainframe systems programmer who
works with CICS, MVS and all manner of nasty acronyms at one of the
largest heavy metal shops on the East Coast.  He shares a waterfront
townhome in Pasadena, MD. with two cats who annoy him endlessly as he
writes and electronically publishes Random Access Humor.  He can be
reached at: FidoNet> 1:261/1129  Internet: dave.bealer@rah.clark.net
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

