Happy New Year
Copyright (c) 1994, J. DeRouen and A. Unknown
All rights reserved




                           You Know You Had 
                            A Little *Too*
                         Happy New Year's Eve
                                 If...


1.   You wake up January 7th in Yokohama.

2.   Your head weighs 260 lbs.  (Not counting your breath!)

3.   You're married to three different people whose names you can't seem
     to recall.

4.   Your shoes are on your ears.

5.   You are standing naked on one leg in front of the library,
     squirting water out of your mouth a pigeon on your nose.

6.   Your hair aches.

7.   Someone is attempting to install your tongue in the hall as wall-
     to-wall carpeting.

8.   Your socks are still rolling up and down.

9.   There is an elephant in your bedroom.

10.  Your skin is the colour of a martini.

11.  You have a hickey where you have never had a hickey before.

12.  Someone calls from Tijuana saying they've found some underwear with
     your name on it.

13.  Your find your signature on a contract for 470 `special rate'
     lessons at Ludendorff's Drive and Dance School.

14.  You have 8 unsigned IOU's in your wallet where your credit cards
     used to be.

15.  You want to drink Lake Michigan, polluted or not.

16.  You find you've had 12 pounds of silicone inserted in a most
     unusual place.

17.  You have an engagement ring on your finger with the inscription
     "Love from Bruce".

18.  There is a fried clam in your navel.

19.  The pain is indescribable.

20.  You keep calling for your mother.

21.  There is chimpanzee hair on your shoulder.

23.  All you want for breakfast is a bowl of steam.

24.  There's a Chia pet growing in your belly button

25.   You wake up in EuroDisney
                               


                           HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
                               
