A Dark Red Valentine Story, Sort Of
Copyright (c) 1994, Franchot Lewis
All rights reserved





               A DARK RED VALENTINE STORY, SORT OF

     (c)Copyright 1994 by Franchot Lewis

         "Billy!
         "Uh?"
         "Billy."
         "What?"
         "What you gonna do with that gal?"
         "I -"
         "I mean, Billy, we got one room in the shack back home,
     one room and that's all. No space."
         "Jess, Well ..."
         "Well, what Billy?"
         "Don't know, I reckon, Jess."
         "Don't know?"
         "I ain't ask her that."
         "Well ... I reckon you should have."
         "I thought, Jess."
         "Thought about it, have you?"
         "Sure, some."
         "I reckon, before you brought a female back from town, you
      had ought to have asked me, and I don't recollect hearing you
      talk to me 'bout bringing one back."
         "Listen, Jess -"
         "Listen? I'm listening."
         "She ain't my gal."
         "She ain't? She looks about like somebody's gal. She's as
      young as you, but I hope not as stupid. What she's doing here?"
          "She done followed me."
          "A fancy woman in pantaloons followed you?"
          "How you know she got on pantaloons?"
          "I looked."
          "What? Jess? She got a blanket over her. What you mean?"
          "I mean the blanket slipped down before she pulled it up
     in her sleep."
          "Jess, you better leave her alone; she's not a regular
     gal."
         "I'll say. I prefer my females in petticoats not pantaloons.
     She appears to be on the mannish side."
         "She done killed a man."
         "Who she killed? Her husband? Boy friend?"
         "She done shot Mad Dog Dugan down dead."
         "Her? Ha!"
         "Don't laugh. The town folks back there think I done it."
         "You?"
         "I tell you, Jess."
         "Let me tell you, Billy. Some folks who you bring up
     since they were young'n, after their maw and paw died,
     whose neck and ears you've wiped, like to brag and boast
     'bout things they make up 'cause they're too young to tell
     proper lies."
         "And let me tell you, Jess. Some old coots who you stays
     with 'cause they're too dumb to run a ranch by themselves -"
         "Billy, why don't you hush? Most of what you know, and
     that ain't half of what I've tried to learn you, came
     from me."
         "Ha!"
         "Who learned you how to ride? Who?"
         "You."
         "How to shoot?"
         "You."
         "And you can't shoot worth a damn. And, why come you
     stand there spouting off a lot of do-do about folks in that
     town saying you shot down Mad Dog Dugan?"
         "Jess, they do."

         "Huh? Somebody -"
         "The girl! You woke her up."

         "Billy, who's there with you?"
         "Miss. Elsie, Ma'am, this is my uncle -"
         "Billy, I wish you would keep our kinship secret.
     Ma'am, I'm Jesse Johnson. You don't have to get up."
         "I'm up now - want to be to meet you."
         "Ma'am, we're out of Texas, on our way back home."
         "Say, a Texas gentleman?"
         "I done sold our cattle and we didn't get much money
     for them, that's why we're camped outside of town. I let Billy
     go into town 'cause he's a young'n, who needs a little hay
     for his donkey every once in a while. You understand my
     drift?"
         "I was just being polite."
         "I'm thinking, a lady like you have something else on her
     mind than politeness."
         "Such as, Uncle Jess?"
         "Quiet, young'n."
         "My uncle don't have much manners."
         "Few men do."
         "Miss, don't you have something to ask old Jess? A question?"
         "May have, Mister. I can't remember right now. Probably
     isn't important. In the meantime while I remember, I gotta go
     take a pee. Be right back. Don't you boys peep."
         "Why?? At a woman in pantaloons? Never! And the boy won't
     either."

         "Jess."
         "Huh?"
         "Over here."
         "What? I can't hear you. What is you whispering 'bout?"
         "You gonna hurt her feelings, talking to her like that."
         "What? You knows I got a bad ear, Billy. If you gotta
     whisper, come around to my good ear."
         "She's a lady, Jess; you can't talk to her like that."
         "Did she hear how she talked to me? Did you? About going
     to take a pee? No female says anything like that to a man."
         "Stop calling her a female, she's a lady."
         "So, you fancy her? A gal in man's pants?"
         "You can be polite to her?"
         "What is this female? A fancy woman in disguise?"
         "Cool it, Jess."
         "What good is a fancy woman on our spread? There's nothing
     there but us and the land? We're a hundred miles from folks.
     We're right smack in the middle of the badlands. We've got
     untamed In'juns. We've got Mexican bandits, and white men
     who are bandits, thieves, bushwhackers, cattle rustlers. And we
     got other bad things, varmints of all kinds: rattle snakes,
     prairie dogs, vermin and I don't mean just the four-legged kind.
     And what do we need with a fancy woman? If there is a fight, a
     fancy woman can't run. She can't fight. Sure, she might want to
     and stand by you, but she'll get hurt."
         "It ain't like that, I want to help her."
         "Help her? What can she do for you? What? Oh, maybe she do
     know how to feed a young boy's donkey."
          "Jess -"
          "Listen, boy. Maybe, she knows how to do whatever, but
     how long can you do that? Who's gonna drive them cows? Who's
     gonna keep off the varmints? The prairie dogs and the bandits?
     Her? Boy, you're thinking with your little dong dang, with your
     tiny, little boyish brain."
         "Stop! Hush! Jess, hush, or I won't talk to you again."

         "Lordy -"
         "Hush, Jess, please. She's back."

         "How's this for gentlemen? Dear Lord, aren't they a
     handsome picture of Texas manhood? I took my pants down and
     not one peep. I have never had so little attention, and I
     have always wanted to have the attention of a couple of men
     from Texas. Come on, Billy, make me feel good, did you have
     a little peep?"
         "How come you ask that?"
         "Jess."
         "Don't no lady talks like that. Why do you think we'd
     do such a thing to you?"
         "You see a lady? "
         "Hell, I would crawl down to the Red River on my belly
     like an old white worm on its way to be a fish's supper before
     I would disrespect a lady."
         "Mister, I'm not worth the trouble. I am not your lady."
         "I know you ain't mine."
         "I'm nobody's lady. I am a whore."
         "A what?"
         "Elsie, don't put yourself down."
         "Billy, I'm a saloon whore. I'm nothing but a whore."
         "You told me, you told us."
         "An honest female... You're one honest female ain't
      you?"
         "Yes, Mister."
         "I hope the boy's ears aren't stuffed with wax, or tar,
      or deafness."
         "I don't want your nephew."
         "Good."
         "Jess -"

         "I'm through talking tonight. I'd do me better to get
     the bottle out of the saddlebags and hit the sack with it."
         "Yeah, good night, Jess."
         "Night, to you and to the woman."

         "Don't worry about Jess. He's good and gentle, almost
     like a maw."
         "You should listen to him."
         "Tell me, how you like me?"
         "That's some smile you've got."
         "Why don't you kiss me again, Elsie, like in - and make me
     feel real fine?"
         "No."
         "Why?"
         "I don't kiss."
         "What? You did."
         "How many women do you know?"
         "Hundreds."
         "How many women have you talked to before me?"
         "Lots."
         "Sure."
         "It's true."
         "Billy, am I not a pretty sight for your eyes to see?"
         "Yelp."
         "There's a bright moon, almost like the kerosine light in
     a parlor. And your uncle's gone to sleep. It's just you and
     me awake. I'm in pantaloons. They're so tight. You see more of
     me than a woman is supposed to show a man she's not married
     to. Almost like I'm naked - you see my butt like it is naked
     almost; the pants are pressing against my privates too.
     What are you thinking, Billy? Yeah, I'm a real pretty sight for
     you, and all you want is a kiss? Billy, warm me up, I'm getting
     cold standing here like this."
         "Holy cow, you sure know how to -"
         "Hurt?"
         "I feeling mighty good right now, let me hold you, there ..."
         "What you heard about me? Heard I was a good whore? The best
     gal doing in the Wet Dollar Saloon? You believed it. Boy, oh
     boy, and Lord God, you sure knows how to get a whore's
     tongue really going."
         "Cheee - Stop talking."
         "No. I won't. I've got to keep telling you, I am a whore.
         "Hush."
         "Don't start with me. I am wrong for you."
         "Hush."
         "I'll hurt you, I know. I always hurt and get hurt. Let
     me cut out. Let go. Come on, Billy, let me go. "
         "Elsie."
         "No."
         "Please."
         "Just let me breathe a sec."
         "Elsie."
         "You cut out, drop me off in Abilene. There's a town and a
     saloon. I can survive in Abilene."
         "Town is no place to be. It's unclean: smoky, dusty, keeps
     in the musky smells."
         "Your Uncle tells you that."
         "It's true. Town is no place for anybody especially for
     a lady."
         "God, a'mighty, I fixed myself temporarily, to the biggest
     greenhorn I done ever rumped. Come on, Billy, don't get sick
     on me. Baby,  make me not hate you."
         "Elsie -"
         "Here it comes, Billy."
         "What comes?"
         "Why I shot that son of a bitch. I wanted to kill the bitch
     for screwing me without paying me. That son of a bitch took
     from me real good."
         "That's behind us, Elsie."
         "Us?"
         "Yes, us."
         "God. That's it."
         "Yes."
         "I shot that creep for not paying me my money, my pay that
     I was owed for balling him. That's the truth."
         "Feel better now for telling me something I knew?"
         "Hell, Billy. If I ever wanted a man, I would take you
     over any man, any time. But men aren't worth a damn; they
     sure in hell haven't been worth a damn to me."
         "Why did you follow me?"
         "Cowboy, you won't stop, until you get a preacher and get
     me married? You're just too dumb to let us drop our drawers and
     start romping together, with no words said, no promises, no
     mumbling, nothing, but rutting, and that's all?"
         "If I had me somebody like you, I would -"
         "Damn, Billy, with the face you got and that smile, you
      could have any nice girl you want. What am I? Your first? Tell
      me? You know, I know?"
          "I've been with girls."
          "And they were no good, right? Billy, I am a whore who
      shot a bad man, a wrong thing for a man to have happened
      to him, being shot by a woman and a whore to boot. The whore
      would get driven out of town, out of every town, dead,  if it
      gets known. What can I do out of town? Die? So I tried to
      convince you that you shot the bad man. You were drunk, but
      not convincible. Do you have anything to drink? Does your
      uncle have anymore whiskey?"
          "Nothing to drink but water."
          "Give me that, I'll drink a whole canteen of that.
      Prepare myself."
          "For what?"
          "Going on alone. You're too sweet, you don't know
      what women are like."
          "I do."
          "You've never had a woman before this morning in town."
          "If you're planning on going on alone, I gotta tell
      you, I ain't gonna let you."
          "How's a nice, soft boy like you gonna stop me? The
      best you can do is to ask me nicely not to."
          "It's the best way."
          "I shot that bad man as he came into my room to take
      me again. Shot him, then made believe that you shot him,
      told townspeople you did. When his partner came around to
      bushwhack you, I shot his partner in the back, to save you. I
      couldn't let him assassinate you. I was supposed to have set
      you up for him to kill, and I sat him up, because I pulled you
      into something you need to get out of. You're so young."
          "Hush."
          "God, man. You got me hot and I'm gonna tell you. It
      ain't that I'm gone soft, not yet."
          "Sure am glad you told me; you like me."
          "I been wanting to go to Abilene for so long that I
      stuck myself to you, a wrong damn thing too. I was just
      afraid to stay in that town, afraid of what I might say or
      do, if another man tried to take me without paying. Since
      I put the blame for him on you, people didn't think
      nothing of me picking up and following you. Dugan
      pretended he owned me. Nobody liked him, nobody much cared
      about him."
         "Hush."
         "No."
         "You just want to get me to stay off you. I could go all
     my life and find nobody better than you to be with me. My
     Uncle Jess, is right, I'm a born know nothing but I know -"
         "Look, Billy -"
         "Hush, I know you ain't my lady, not yet. But look here
      what I got for us: Plans. I done filed on me some acres
      adjoining Jess's place. You can run cattle there, and you
      can do more. Grass grows there, soft grass. I even took in
      some acres that include an old brook. Jess is an old cuss,
      but he's not stubborn. He'll help me build you a house
      with a bed, a proper bed, with a goose downs pillow that
      belonged to my maw. You're have a comfortable place to lay
      your head while we grow old together."
         "How would you like that!"
         "I would like it fine, real fine, Elsie. But, if you
      want to go out there and waste your life in Abilene,
      you're have to whop me first."
         "What?"
         "We need a place to lay our heads down at night."
         "Sure, and be naked, cuddle and rut on top of a blanket. I
       can give you that now, a time like you would never
       believe."
         "Hush."
         "Billy, I asked nobody to be born -"
         "Nobody gets asked."
         "I'm telling you something, don't interrupt."
         "Enough talk."
         "I asked nobody to be female in this Hell, I'm telling
     you that."
         "Hush."
         "I have never loved a man, I can never love a man."
         "Hush. Don't waste your time talking. Just sit down
     with me, and we'll be quiet and wait for the sun."
         "You sure you haven't talked to a woman before?"
         "I have many times."
         "Sure. I am not a woman, I'm a whore."
         "You are worth something."
         "Holy sh-, man. I have never had nobody ever speak to
     me like this."
         "Like you got feelings?"
         "And I'm fixing to shoot you. I can feel it building up
     inside me like something I have no power over. God, Billy."
         "Where you going?"
         "Lord!"
         "Come on, Elsie. Shoot, where you going?"
         "Most men don't want you to talk to them and they sure
     don't want to ask you questions, or know that you can think
     to answer them, or that you can think -"
         "Elsie, stop, talking and feel what I am feeling for you,
     please."
         "I know how to survive, say alive."
         "Elsie, hush."
         "No."
         "I won't let you go."
         "Billy, see this: my gun. I'm going."
         "No, Elsie."
         "Stop!"
         "Elsie."
         "Lord, I've had men talk to me like you, and God, but none
     as sweet as you. But, deep inside, I know it amounts to
     nothing."
         "No, Elsie, I want you."
         "Stop. I'm gonna shoot you. Billy, now, stop!"
         "Shoot me, Elsie?  Kill me? You can't."
         "I'll wound you!"
         "No, now, hush."
         "Billy!"

         BANG! BANG!
         "Billy, oh Billy!"

         "Billy, I heard shooting.  Billy, where are you? Boy, I'm
     too old to be wandering around in darnation. Billy ..."

          "Billy!"
          "I'm coming."
          "What was that shooting?"
          "Somebody shooting in the air?"
          "You?"
          "Jess, wait for us in the camp."
          "Where did you wander off with her?"
          "She's out there?"
          "By herself?"
          "Yeah."

          "Where? Over that way? Billy? God, what is she doing
     out there? On foot?"
         "I froze and let her run off, but -
         "She shot the gun?"
          "I gotta catch her."
          "What? She run away from you? On foot?"
          "I gotta track her."
          "In the dark? You're a natural egg sucking fool."
          "You gonna really like her, Jess."
          "In the dark? You're chasing her in the dark?"
          "Yelp!"


    {END}
