
...I can resist everything but temptation. - Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

...It's a difference of opinion that makes horse races. - Twain

...for all men are alike when asleep. - Aristotle (384-322 BC)

...the fog is rising. - Emily Dickinson's last words (1830-1886)

...there are so many beautiful women and so little time. - John Barrymore

...this loathsome combination of church and state. - Thomas Jefferson

60 minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to unhappiness.  - Thurber

A House is not a Home - Polly Adler

A University is a college when the faculty loses interest in students - Ciardi

A belief is not true because it is useful. - Henri Amiel (-1881)

A big lie is more plausible than truth. - Ernest Hemingway

A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you. - Bert Taylor

A bore is a person who talks when you want him to listen. -  Ambrose Bierce

A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds an office some Republican wants. - Barkley

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks - Lawerence Peter

A conservative government is organized hypocrisy.
 - Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881)

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks - mostly sits. - Woodrow Wilson

A converted cannibal is one who, on Friday, eats only fishermen - Emily Lotney

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. - Marvin Kitman

A critic is a man who knows the way, but cannot drive the car. - Kenneth Tynan

A critic is the legless man who teaches running. - Channing Pollock

A fool must now and then be right by chance. - William Cowper

A fox should not be of the jury at a goose's trial - Thomas Fuller

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. - Adalai Stevenson

A gentleman is a man who knows how to play the saxophone and doesn't
 - W.C. Fields

A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years. - W.L. Willkie

A good laugh is sunshine in a house. - William Makepeace Thackery (1811-1863)

A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Ed Howe

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on Paul's support.
 - George Bernard Shaw

A great artist is always before his time - or behind it. - George Moore

A halber emez is a gantzer lign (A half truth is a whole lie - Yiddish Proverb)

A humanitarian is always a hypocrite - George Orwell

A hungry man is not a free man. - Adali Stevenson

A husband is what's left of a man after the nerve is extracted - Helen Rowland

A jury is composed of twelve men of average ignorance. - Herbert Spencer

A lecture is an occasion where you numb one end to benefit the other.
 - G. Glidden

A liar needs a good memory. - Quintillian (35?-95?)

A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins. - Heywood Broun

A liberal is a man who is willing to spend somebody else's money.- Carter Glass

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment.
                                                  - Will Player

A liar needs a good memory - Quintilian (35?-95?)

A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation. - C.E.Ayres

A little madness in the spring, is wholesome even for the King.
                                         - Emily Dickinson

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, a great deal of it is fatal
                                          - Wilde

A man convinced against his will is not convinced - Lawerence J. Peter

A man convinced against his will
Is of the same opinion still
 - Samuel Butler

A man cuts his wisdom teeth the 1st time he bites off more than he can chew
                                                           - Caen

A man in love is incomplete until he's married.  Then he's finished.
                                                 - Zsa Zsa Gabor

A man like Verdi must write like Verdi. - Giuseppina Verdi

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. - H.L. Mencken

A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.
                                                    - S. Johnson

A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest - Brooks Adams

A man paints with his brain, and not with his hands - Michaelangelo

A man's memory is what he forgets with. - Odell Shepard

A mighty thing is eloquence, nothing so much rules the world. - Pope Pius II

A nation without the means for reform is without means of survival.
                                                        - Edmund Burke

A neighborhood is where, when you go out of it, you get beat up.
 - Murray Kempton

A newspaper is the lowest thing there is! - Mayor Richard J. Daley

A nickname is the hardest stone the devil can throw at a man - William Hazlitt

A nose that can see is worth two that can sniff. - Eugene Ionesco

A person gets from a symbol the same meaning he puts into it.
                                                     - U.S. Supreme Court

A piano is a piano is a piano is a piano. - Gertrude Steinway (Jack Freedman)

A poem begins in delight and ends in wisdom. - Robert Frost

A poem should not mean but Be. - Archibald MacLeish

A political war is one in which everyone shoots from the lip. - Raymond Moley

A primitive artist is an amateur whose work sells. - Grandma Moses

A problem well stated is half solved. - Charles F. Kettering

A prosperous fool is a grevious burden. - Aeschylus (525-456 B.C.)

A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience. - Miguel de Cervantes

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom. - Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

A pun is the lowest form of humor when you don't think of it first.
                                                    - Oscar Levant

A reform is a correction of abuses; a revolution is a transfer of power
                                                 - E. Lytton

A reformer is a man who rides through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat
                                                       - J. Walker

A self made man may prefer a self-made name. - Judge Learned Hand

A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.
                                                           - Marquis

A silent majority and government by the people is incompatible. - Tom Hayden

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic. - Joseph Stalin

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card. - Edgar A. Shoaff

A small man can be just as exhausted as a great man. - Arthur Miller

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - B. de Jouvenel

A state is better governed with few laws...strictly observed - Rene Descartes

A statesman is a dead politician.  We need more statesmen. - Bob Edwards

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. - Oscar Wilde

A woman drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her.
                                                          - W.C. Fields

A working girl is one who quit her job to get married. - E.J.Kiefer

Abandon your animosities and make your sons Americans! - Robert E. Lee

Ability is getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.
                                                      - Casey Stengel

Absence makes the heart grow fonder - Thomas Bayly (1797)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder of someone else - Lawerence Peter

Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.
 - Oscar Wilde

Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it. - Horace (65-8 B.C.)

Advertising is legalized lying - H.G. Wells

Advertising is the art of making whole lies out of half truths - Edgar Shoaff

Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket - George Orwell

After wisdom comes wit.- Evan Esar

Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of terror
                                                      - Al Boliska

All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others
                                                    - George Orwell

All art is a revolt against man's fate - Andre Malraux

All children are essentially criminal - Denis Dierot (1713-1784)

All cruelty springs from weakness. - Seneca

All good things which exist are the fruits of originality. - John S. Mill

All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time - George Seldes

All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast - Gunther

All looks yellow to the jaundiced eye - Alexander Pope

All mirrors are magical mirrors; never can we see our faces in them 
                                                       - L.P. Smith

All paid employments absorb and degrade the mind. - Aristotle (384-322BC)

All political parties die at last swallowing their own lies. - Arbuthnot (-1735)

All profoundly original art looks ugly at first. - Clement Greenberg

All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland, please raise your right hand... 
                                                       - St. Patrick

All that I know I learnd after I was thirty - Georges Clemenceau

All that was new in them was false and what was true was old
                                                 - Haughton of Darwin

All the fame I look for in life is to have lived it quietly.
 - Michel deMontaigne

All the fun's in how you say a thing. - Robert Frost

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a wealthy widow. - Evan Esar

Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it. - Irene Peter

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them so much - Oscar Wilde

Always take a job that is too big for you. - Harry Fosdick

Among the porcupines, rape is unknown. - Gregory Clark

An ass is beautiful to an ass.  A pig is beautiful to a pig. - John Ray

An assasin is one who takes life easily. - Lawerence J. Peter

An empty stomach is not a good political leader. - Albert Einstein

An idea is a feat of association - Robert Frost.

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it - Don Marquis

An institution is the lengthened shadow of one man - Ralph Emerson (1803-1882)

An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself - Albert Camus

Anatomy is destiny. - Sigmund Freud

And here, poor fool, with all my lore
I stand no wiser than before - Goethe

And in today already walks tommorow. - Samuel Coleridge

Any man can make history - only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

Any man more right than his neighbor constitutes a majority of one. - Thoreau

Any work of art that can be understood is the product of journalism. - Tzara

Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry - George Ade

Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined
                                                     - S. Goldwyn

Anyone can become Pope; the proof of that is that I have become one
                                                           - John XXIII

Anyone who has begun to think places some portion of the world in jeopardy
                                                           - Dewey

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or at eighty. - Henry Ford

Anything that is written to please the author is worthless. - Blaise Pascal

Anytime you don't want anything, you get it - Calvin Coolidge

Apart from man, no being wonders at its own existence. - Arthur Shopenhauer

Argument is the worst sort of conversation - Jonathan Swift

Art hath an enemy called Ignorance. - Ben Johnson

Art is I, Science is we. - Claude Bernard

Art is like a border of flowers along the course of civilization - L. Steffens

Art is not a thing, it is a way. - Elbert Hubbard

Art is the lie that enables us to realize the truth. - Pablo Picasso

Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere. - G.K. Chesterton

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say and more to what they do.

As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to live it more and more.
                                                             - Renard

As a general rule, nobody has money who ought to have it. - Benjamin Disraeli

As soon as a dream is realized, it is destroyed. - Gian-Carlo Menotti

As soon as you cannot keep anything from a woman, you love her. - Paul Geraldy

As the twig is bent, the tree inclines - Virgil (70-19BC)

As to posterity, I may ask what has it ever done for us? - Thomas Gray

At the beginning there was the Word; at the end just the cliche.
                                                  - Stanislaw J. Lec

BE YOURSELF is the worst advice you can give to some people - Tom Masson

Behind every achivement is a proud wife and a suprised mother-in-law. - Hays

Bad laws are the worst sort of tyrrany - Edmund Burke

Banks and riches are chains of gold, but still chains. - Edmund Ruffin

Be obscure clearly. - E.B. White

Be to her virtues very kind,
Be to her faults a little blind.
 - M. Prior (-1721)

Be virtuous and you will be eccentric. - Mark Twain

Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror - Kahil Gibran

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - General Lew Wallace

Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin-skinned people.
                                                    - R. Amour

Beauty is the promise of happiness - Stendhal (Henri Beyle)

Before I judge another man, let me first walk a mile in his moccasins
                                                - Sioux Proverb

Being a philosopher, I have a problem for every solution. - Robert Zend

Being bored is an insult to one's self - Jules Renard

Better bend than break. - Scottish proverb

Better to know nothing than to half-know many things - Nietzsche (1844-1900)

Beware of the man who goes to cocktail parties not to talk, but to listen.

Beware the fury of a patient man. - John Dryden (1631-1700)

Beware the man who works hard to learn something - Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

Birth is the beginning of death - Thomas Fuller

Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid. - Franklin P. Jones

Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies. - Honore' de Balzac

Business will be either better or worse -- Calvin Coolidge

But in modern war...you will die like a dog for no good reason - Hemingway

But let me laugh a while, I've mickle time to greive - John Keats

But then to see how ye're neglecket
How huff'd an' cuff'd and disrespecket
 - Burns

By perserverance the snails reached the ark. - Charles Spurgeon

By thought, I embrace the universal - Blaise Pascal

Capitol punishment: Income tax. - Jeff Hayes

Chamber music: a conversation between friends - Catherine Bowen

Change your thoughts and you change your world. - Norman Peale

Character is destiny - Heraclitus (540-475 BC)

Charlatanism of some degree is indespensible to effective leadership
              - Eric Hoffer

Civilization is a race between education and catastrophe - H.G. Wells

Clearly then, the city is not a concrete jungle; it is a human zoo
 - Desmond Morris

Close alliances with despots are never safe for free states.
 - Demosthenes (322 BC)

Clothe an idea in words, and it loses its freedom of movement.
 - Egon Friedell

Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.
  - E.Thorndike

Comedy is the last refuge of the nonconformist mind. - Gilbert Seldes

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
 - Duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

Consistency is a paste jewel that only cheap men cherish. - William A. White

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Controversy equalizes fools and wise men - and the fools know it.-O.W.Holmes Jr

Courage is grace under pressure. - Ernest Hemingway

Covenants without swords are but words. - Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679)

Creative intelligence in its various forms is what makes man. - James Robinson

Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship - Zeuxis (c. 400 B.C.)

Culture is what your butcher would have if he were a surgeon. - Mary Poole

Cursed is everyone who places his hope in man. - Saint Augustine.(354-430)

Cynicism is disappointed idealism. - Harry Kemelman

Cynicism is humor in ill health. - H.G. Wells

Defining and analyzing humor is the pastime of humorless people.-Robert Benchley

Desiring to be more than true, you are worse than false. - Armand Baschet

Diplomacy is to do and say/The nastiest thing in the nicest way. - I. Goldberg

Discussion is an exchange of knowledge,argument an exchange of ignorance-Quillen

Distrust all men in whom the impulse to punish is powerful. - Nietzsche

Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal-D.D.Eisenhower

Do not wait for the last judgment, it takes place every day - Albert Camus

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.  - Theodore Roosevelt

Don't cross your bridges until you've burned them.  - Dick Bower

Don't ever slam a door. You might want to go back. - Don Herold

Don't get the idea that I'm knocking the American system. - Al Capone

Don't jump on a man unless he's down - Finley Peter Dunne

Don't put the fate of your business in the delusions of economists. -P. Drucker

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence - Vermont Proverb

Each morning puts a man on trial, and each evening passes judgment.-Roy L. Smith

Economists think the poor need them to tell them they are poor. - Peter Drucker

Education is the transmission of civilization - Durant

Eggheads, unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks. - Adalai Stevenson

Emotion has taught mankind to reason. - Marquis del Vauvenargues

Error of opinion may be tolerated where reason is left to combat it. -Jefferson

Eternal vigliance is the price of liberty. -Wendell Phillips (1811-1884)

Even victors are by victory undone. - John Dryden (1631-1700)

Even weak men united are powerful. -Fredrich Schiller

Every act of rebelling expresses a nostalgia for innocence.  -Albert Camus

Every actual state is corrupt. Good men must not obey laws too well.-Emerson

Every age is modern to those who are living in it. - Justice Benjamin N. Cardozo

Every calling is great when greatly pursued. - O.W.Holmes Jr.

Every dogma has its day, but ideals are eternal.  - Israle Zangwill

Every hero becomes a bore at last. - Ralph W. Emerson

Every individual has a place to fill in the world...-Nathaniel Hawthorne

Every interesting program has at least 1 variable, 1 branch, 1 loop and 1 bug.

Every man's got to figure to get beat sometime. - Joe Louis

Every man's memory is his private literature. - Aldous Huxley

Every nation has the government it deserves. - Joseph Marie de Maistre (-1821)

Every revolution puts on in time the robes of the tyrant it has deposed-Tuchman

Every saint has a past, and every sinner a future. - Oscar Wilde

Every style that is not boring is a good one. - Voltaire

Every virtuous man would rather meet an open foe than a pretend friend -Kletzing

Everybody is a law-abiding citizen until the gun goes off. -anon

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. - Will Rogers

Everybody wants to be somebody, nobody wants to grow. - Goethe (1749-1832)

Everyone can master a grief but he that has it. - William Shakespeare

Everyone has his hangovers - Dick Dyas Jr.

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experience. -Edward R. Murrow

Everything has been thought of before-The problem is to think of it again-Goethe

Everything he touches turns to music - Schumann of Schubert

Everything one does enough of eventually generates its own interest...-Alan Dunn

Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. -F. Jones

Experience is the comb that nature gives us when we are bald. - Belgian Proverb

Facing me sat a man with a hard red face like a book of rules. - Anthony Carson

Facts and truth are often cousins - not brothers. - Edward Bunker

Facts are stupid until brought into conjunction with some general law. -Agassiz

Failure has gone to his head. - Wizner

Failures are usually the most conceited of men. - D.H. Lawerence

Fairness is what justice really is. - Justice Potter Stewart

False modesty is better than none. - Stefansson

Father gave hints on speech making: "Be sincere,be brief,be seated"-J.Roosevelt

Fathers send their sons to college because they did or they didn't - L.L.Hendren

Faults are thick where love is thin. -James Howell

Few rich men own their own property. Their property owns them.-R.G.Ingersoll

Few women and fewer men have enough character to idle - E.V. Lucas

Figues won't lie, but liars will figure. - Charles H. Grosvenor

Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.  - Johnathan Swift

For I fear I have nothing original in me, excepting original sin. - T. Campbell

For every credibility gap there is a gullibility fill. - Richard Clopton

For every person willing to teach, there are 30 not willing to be taught-Yeatman

For every talent poverty has stimulated, it has blighted a hundred.- Sam Johnson

For more than forty years I have been speaking prose and not knowing it -Moliere

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways-The Bible

Forgetting that several excuses are always less convincing than one-A. Huxley

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom. - Hannah Arendt

Forty is the old age of youth, fifty is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

Fraud and falsehood only dread examination. Truth invites it. - Thomas Cooper

Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason. -Charles P. Curtis

Freedom is nothing else but the chance to be better. - Albert Camus

Friendship among women is only a suspension of hostilities - de Rivarol (-1801)

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs - Marx

From the errors of another, a wise man corrects his own.-Publilius Syrus

From wine what sudden friendship springs! - John Gay (1685-1732)

Gate's Law: If there isn't a law, there will be - W.I.E. Gates

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. -John Pollard

Generous people are rarely mentally ill people. - Dr. Karl Menninger

Genius does what it must, talent does what it can. - Malcom Cowley

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please - Mark Twain

Getting an award from TV is like getting kissed by someone w/bad breath-Williams

Give the neighbor's kids an inch and they'll take a yard. - Helen Castle

Giving up is the ultimate tragedy.  Robert J. Donovan

Gluttony is not a secret vice - Orson Welles

God and the devil are an effort after specialization of labor. -Samuel Butler

God cannot alter the past, but historians can. - Samuel Butler

God forbid we should ever be 20 years without such a rebellion!-Thomas Jefferson

God must love the common man, he made so many of them. -Abraham Lincoln

Gods are born and die, but the atom endures - Alexander Chase

Good behavior is the last refuge of mediocrity. - Henry Haskins

Good things happen when planned, bad things happen on their own. P.B.Crosby

Governments exist to protect the rights of the minorities - Wendell Phillips

Great nature spoke; observant man obey'd - Pope.

Growing old isn't so bad when you consider the alternative-Maurice Chevalier

Growth for growth's sake is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

Growth is the only evidence of life. - John Henry, Cardinal Newman

Had I learned to fiddle, I should have done nothing else - Samuel Johnson

Happiness is a way station between too little and too much. - Channing Pollock

Happiness is not a state to strive at, but a manner of travelling. -Runbeck

Happiness is not being pained in the body or troubled in the mind. - T.Jefferson

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. - Robert Frost

Hate the sin and love the sinner. - Mohandas Gandhi

Hated by fools, and fools to hate,
Be that my motto and my fate.       -Johnathan Swift

Hatred is like fire; it makes even light rubbish deadly. - Mary Ann Evans

Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated. - George Bernard Shaw

Have the courage to live.  Anyone can die. - Robert Cody

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards? - Al Boliska

He became mellow before he became ripe. - Alex Wolcott of Christopher Morley

He gave her a look you could've poured on a waffle. - Ring Lardner

He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation delightful-Smith

He had so much money he could afford to look poor. - Edgar Wallace

He has every attribute of a dog except loyalty. - Sen. Thomas P. Gore

He has the gall of a shoplifter returning an item for a refund. - W.I.E. Gates

He is as good as his word, and his word is no good.- Seumas MacManus

He is either dead or teaching school. - Zenobius (1st Cent. BC)

He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop. -  Sydney Smith

He slept the deep sleep of the unjust. - Sir Herbert B. Tree

He talked with more claret than clarity. - Susan Ertz

He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune. - Francis Bacon

He was awake a long time before he remembered that his heart was broken.
- Hemingway

He was just a finger's breath away from success too - Colette Burns

He wasn't hostile to the facts, but he was apathetic about them.- Wolcott Gibbs

He who cannot lie does not know what the truth is. - Nietzsche

He who dares to waste 1 hour of time has not discovered the value of life.
- Darwin

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. -Nietzsche

He who has burned his mouth blows his soup. - German Proverb

He writes his plays for the ages- The ages between 5 and 12. -George Nathan

He's a fine friend, he stabs you in the front.  - Leonard Levinson

Heaven from all creatures hides the book of fate. - Alexander Pope (-1744)

Heredity is nothing but stored environment. - Luther Burbank

High heels were invented by a woman who was kissed on the forehead - C. Morley

Higher laws are unilaterally determined - Eric Sevareid

His imagination resembles the wings of an ostrich. - Macaulay of Dryden

History is a cyclic poem written by Time upon the memories of man - Percy Shelly

History is a nightmare from which we are trying to awaken - James Joyce

History is a pact between the dead, the living, and the yet unborn. -E. Burke

History is a set of lies agreed upon. - Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1812)

History is a ship carrying living memories to the future - Stephen Spender.

History is mostly guessing, the rest is prejudice - Will & Ariel Durant

History is only a confused heap of facts. - Earl of Chesterfield (1694-1773)

History is philosophy teaching by examples. - Henry St. John Bolingbroke (-1751)

History is the biography of great men - Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881)

History is the great dust heap...a pageant and not a philosophy. - Birrell

History is the short trudge from Adam to atom. - Leonard Louis Levinson

History makes us some amends for the shortness of life - Philip Skelton

History repeats itself.  That's one of the things wrong with history.- C. Darrow

Hitler had the best answers to everything.  - Charles Manson

Home is where the college student home for the holidays isn't. - Laurence Peter

Hope is a pillar that holds up the world.
Hope is the dream of waking man          - Pliny

Hope is independent of the apparatus of logic. - Norman Cousins

Hope is merely disappointment deferred. - W. Burton Baldry

Hope is the most treacherous of human fancies. - James Cooper (1789-1851)

Hope springs eternal in the human breast - Alexander Pope (1688-1744)

How did I get here? Somebody pushed me... - Joseph Heller

How invincible is justice if it be well spoken - Cicero (106-43BC)

How little should we enjoy life if we never flattered ourselves.- Rochefoucauld

How many things there are which I do not want - Socrates

How prophetic L'Enfant was when he laid out Washington in circles! - J.M. Brown

How vain it is to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live -Thoreau

Human war has been the most successful of all our cultural traditions.-R. Ardrey

Humankind cannot bear much reality.- T.S.Eliot

Humility is to make a right estimate of ones self. - Charles Spurgeon

Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James Thurber

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.-L. Hughes

Hush, little bright line, don't you cry/you'll be a cliche' by and by-Fred Allen

I am a man; nothing human is alien to me. - Terence

I am a part of all that I have read - John Kieran

I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way -Carl Sandburg

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - W.C.Fields

I am in favor of integration, but not solely for the purpose of busing-I.Peter

I am in the prime of senility. - Joel C. Harris

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today-W. White

I am not sincere, not even when I say I am not. - Jules Renard

I am not young enough to know everything. -James M. Barrie

I am one three-billionth of the world history today- A. Bremer (assassin)

I am responsible only to God and history. - Gen. Fransisco Franco

I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot - Horace Greely

I am the master of my fate;/I am the captain of my soul. - William E. Henley

I believe that security declines as security machinery increases.-E.B.White

I bought some batteries..but they weren't included so I had to buy them again.SW

I can evade questions without help, what I need is answers.-John F. Kennedy

I can pardon everyone's mistakes but my own. - Marcus Cato (234-149 B.C.)

I can't figure out where I leave off and everyone else begins. - McCabee

I could no more define poetry than a terrier could define a rat. - A.E.Housman

I could prove God statistically. - George Gallup

I determine who is a Jew - Herman Goering

I do like to see the arms and legs fly. - Col. George S. Patton III

I do not rule Russia, 10,000 clerks do. - Nicholas I (1796-1885)

I don't care what's written about me as long as it isn't true - Kathryn Hepburn

I don't give a shit what happens. I want you all to stonewall it. -R. M. Nixon

I don't meet competition, I crush it. - Charles Revson

I don't want anyone to admire my pants in a museum. - Frederic Chopin (1810-1849

I don't want immortality through my work,I want it through not dying-Woody Allen

I drink to make other people interesting. - George Nathan

I had a lover's quarrel with the world - Robert Frost

I hate people who are intolerant ! - Lawerence J. Peter

I have a bad memory for facts - Stendhal (Henri Beyle)

I have a full scale map of the U.S.  It says 1 mile = 1 mile.  -S. Wright

I have a great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it. -Edgar A. Poe

I have had just about all I can take of myself. -S.N.Behrman (at 75 years)

I have never met a man so ignorant I couldn't learn something from him-W. McAdoo

I have nothing to hide, the White House has nothing to hide. - Richard Nixon

I have seen the future, and it is very much like the present, only longer-Albran

I have seen the future and it doesn't work - Robert Fulford

I haven't hit a square ball all afternoon - Lori Johnson

I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I've felt it-Igor Stravinski

I invent nothing. I rediscover. - Auguste Rodin

I keep reading between the lies - Goodman Ace

I know only 2 tunes, one of them is "Yankee doodle" and the other isn't-U.Grant

I know well what I am fleeing from, but not what I am in search of. - Montagaine

I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.-Peter De Vries

I much prefere a compliment, insincere or not, to sincere criticism.-Plautus

I must complain the cards are ill shuffled until I have a good hand. -John Swift

I must have been an insufferable child; all children are - George Bernard Shaw

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I never loved another person the way I loved myself. - Mae West

I never read a book before reviewing it - it prejudices me. - H.Pearson

I never think of the future.  It comes soon enough.  - Albert Einstein

I never was radical when young, for fear I'd become conservative when old.-Frost

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

I produce music as an apple tree produces apples. - Camille St.Saens

I recommend you to leave the Battle of Waterloo as it is - Duke Wellesley

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. - Wilson Mizner

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. - Allen Ginsberg

I see no wisdom in saving up indignation for a rainy day.-Heywood Broun

I shall marry in haste, and repeat at leisure. - James Cabell

I should like to be able to love my country and to love justice.-Ambrose Bierce

I should like to be known as a former pres. who minded his own business-Coolidge

I think immortality is an overrated commodity - S.N. Behrman

I think the first duty of society is justice. - Alexander Hamilton (1757-1804)

I want to know if I can live with what I know, and only that - Camus

I want to thank everybody that made this day necessary-Yogi Berra

I was a free thinker before I knew how to think - George Bernard Shaw

I was never less alone than by myself. - Edward Gibbon. - (1737-1794)

I wasn't really naked, I just didn't have any clothes on. - Josephine Baker

I wonder that a soothsayer doesn't laugh whenever he sees another sooth...Cicero

I would not exchange my leisure hours for all the wealth in the world-Mirabeau

I would rather be a philosopher and a coward than a hero and a fool. - A. Pratt

I would rather be right than president. -Henry Clay

I would rather men ask me why I have no statue than why I have one.-Cato(-149BC)

I would suggest the taxation of all property wethere church or corp.-U.S.Grant

I write [music] as a sow piddles.-Woflgang Amadeus Mozart (1756-1791)

I'd like to live like a poor man with lots of money. - Pablo Picasso

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck.- Emma Goldman

I'd rather wake up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth-S. McQueen

I'll never make the mistake of being seventy again! - Casey Stengel

I'm a lousy writer, a helluva lot of people have lousy taste.- Grace Metalious

I'm not /Against/ the police, I'm just /Afraid/ of them - Alfred Hitchcock

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens-Woody Allen

I'm not prejudice, I'm just better. - Brett Phillips

I'm saving that rocker for the day I feel as old as I really am.-D.D. Eisenhower

I'm very proud...that I'm smart enough to get the point. - Harry S. Truman

I've never known a country to be starved into democracy - Senator G.D.Aiken

I've only got one other speed, and it's slower.  - Glenn Ford

I've steered clear of God.  He was an incredible sadist. - John Collier

I've written some poetry I don't understand myself.- Carl Sandburg

Ideas shape the course of history - John Keynes

If 50,000,000 people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.-A.France

If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs? -Marvin Kitman

If I added to their pride of America, I'd be happy. - Carl Sandburg

If I break wind in Wittenberg, they smell it in Rome. - Martin Luther

If I keep my good character, I shall be rich enough. -Platonicus (1st cent. BC)

If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty. - Ben Franklin

If a man is in a minority of one, we lock him up. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

If any demonstrator lies down in front of my car it'll be his last...-G.Wallace

If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again. - Old Salesman's Proverb

If fame is to come only after death, then I am in no hurry for it. -M. Valerius

If it be a sin to covet honor, I am the most offending soul - Shakespeare.

If it weren't for space, everything would be jammed up in one lump - Irene Peter

If its length be not considered a merit, it has no other. - Edmund Waller

If necessity is the mother of invention, what was papa doing? Ruth Weekley

If one truly has lost hope, one would not be on hand to say so. - Eric Bentley

If one truly has lost all hope, one would not be on hand to say so. - E. Bentley

If people really liked to work, we'd still be plowing with sticks... -W.Feather

If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch - Bible (Mat 15:14)

If the critics were always right, we should be in deep trouble. - Robert Morley

If the people don't want to come out to the park, nobody's gonna stop 'em-Berra

If thought corrupts language, language also corrupts thought - George Orwell

If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.-Ernest Hemingway

If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.-Cicero

If we believe absurdities, we shall committ atrocities. - Voltaire

If you are afraid of being lonely, don't try to be right. -Jules Renard

If you are brave too often, people will come to expect it of you. -M. McLaughlin

If you aren't going all the way, why go at all? - Joe Namath

If you can't convince them, confuse them.  - Harry S. Truman

If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it. - C. Coolidge

If you haven't struck oil in your first three minutes, stop boring! -G.Jessel

If you make money your God, it will plague you like the devil. - Henry Fielding

If you scoff at language study...how, save language will you scoff? -Mario Pei

If you sit on the lid of progress you will be blown to pieces. -Kaiser

If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past.-Spinoza

If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want go there - Martin Luther

If your problems might have some surcease/Pray thee for the next release-Terrano

Ignorance is degrading when found in company with riches.-Arthur Schopenhauer

Ignorance is less remote from truth than prejudice.- Denis Diederot

Ignorance is no excuse - It's the real thing. - Irene Peter

Ignorance is the primary source of all misery and vice- Victor Cousin

Ignorance once dispelled is difficult to reestablish - Laurence Peter

Impropriety is the soul of wit. - Somerset Maugham

In America there are 2 classes of travel, first class & with children-R.Benchley

In Israel, in order to be a realist, you must believe in miracles -D.Ben-Gurion

In a comedy, laughs don't hurt. - David Picker

In all my years of public life, I have never obstructed justice. -R.M. Nixon

In all things let us have justice, and then we shall have enough liberty-Joubert

In heaven, an angel is nobody in particular. - Charles Towne

In his private heart, no man much respects himself. - Mark Twain

In larger things we are convivial;/What causes trouble is the trivial-Armour

In music, one must think with the heart, and feel with the brain.-Szell

In revolutions, authority remains with the greatest scoundrels-G.J.Danton

In solitude, be a multitude to thyself. - Tibullus (54?-18? BC)

In some cases, non-violence requires more militancy than violence-Cesar Chavez

In the fight between you and the world, back the world. -Franz Kafka

In the fight for survival, a tie or a split decision simply will not do.-Meacham

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man can still goof up. - Lawerence Peter

In the long run we were all dead. - John Maynard Keynes

In the republic of medocrity, genius is dangerous. - Robert G. Ingersoll.

In those days he was wiser than he is now-he used to take my advice -Churchill

In time of war, the first casualty is the truth. -Boake Carter

In two words: im possible. -Samuel Goldwyn

In war there is no substitute for victory. - Douglas MacArthur

In wilderness is the preservation of the world. -Thoreau

Increased means and increased leisure are the two civilizers of man.-Disraeli

Infinity converts that which is possible into the inevitable. - Norman Cousins

Insanity is hereditary- You get it from your children - Sam Levenson

Insanity- A perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world. - R. D. Laing

Instead of loving your enemies, treat your friends a little better. -Ed Howe

Invention is the mother of necessity - Thorstein Veblen

Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves ? -Nietzsche

Isn't Beverly Sills a suburb of Los Angeles - Doris King

Isn't your life extremely flat/With nothing to grumble at? - W.S. Gilbert

It better benefits a man to laugh at life than lament over it - Seneca(4BC-AD65)

It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, as long as you've got money.-Joe Lewis

It doesn't pay well to fight for what we believe in. - Lillian Hellman

It is a luxury to be understood - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is a mean thief, or a successful author, that plunders the dead.-A.O'Malley

It is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.-Mark Twain

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George B. Shaw

It is easier to love humanity than to love one's neighbor - Eric Hoffer

It is fear that first brought gods into the world. - Petronius (-A.D. 66?)

It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.- Niccolo' Machiavelli

It is never too late to give up your prejudices. - Henry David Thoreau

It is not the eyes of others I am wary of, but my own - Noel Coward

It is not truth that makes man great, but man who makes truth great.-Confucius

It is surely harmful to souls to make it a heresey to believe what is proved-Gal

It is the president's decision to choose how to impart information...-Ehrlichman

It is youth that has discovered love as a weapon.- Peter Ustinov

It isn't that they can't see the solution, they can't see the problem-Chesterton

It looks like a flaw in the ointment - Annie Loth

It may be those who dream most, do most. - Stephen Leacock

It may or may not be worthwhile but it still has to be done.

It requires ages to destroy a popular opinion. - Voltaire

It takes a great man to be a good listener. - Sir Arthur Helps

It takes a wise man to handle a lie, the fool had better remain honest.-Douglas

It takes twenty years to make an overnight success. - Eddie Cantor

It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward. - Lewis Carroll

It's a very sad thing today that there is so little useless information-O. Wilde

It's easier to be original and foolish than original and wise.-Gottfried Leibniz

It's easier to be wise for others than for ourselves.-Duc de La Rochefoucauld

It's easy to understand God as long as you don't try to explain hin. -J. Joubert

It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've gotten even with him. -O.Miller

It's hard to look up to a leader who keeps his ear to the ground. -J.Boren

It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't - McLaughlin

It's the inherent right of the government to lie to save itself. - A.D.Sylvester

It's time to batten down the hatches, or is it button down the hedges?-B. Straus

Joe...was ignorant enough to feel superior to everything - John Ciardi

Journalism is literature in a hurry. - Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Judge a tree from its fruit, not from the leaves. - Euripides (484-406BC)

Justice delayed is justice denied. - William Gladstone (1809-1898)

Justice is incidental to law and order.  - J.Edgar Hoover

Justice is too good for some people, and not good enough for the rest.- Douglas

Justice is truth in action. - Disraeli

Justice without force is powerless, force without justice is tyrannical.-Pascal

Keep America beautiful - Emigrate!

Kindness in giving creates love. - Lao-tzu (604?-531 BC)

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. - Lao-tzu (604?-531 BC)

Kindness in words creates confidence. - Lao-tzu (604?-531 BC)

Knowledge without consciene is the ruination of the soul. - Francois Rabelais

Language - a form of organized stutter - McLuhan

Language is the light of the mind- John Stuart Mill

Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects. -Arnold Glasgow

Law is not justice, and a trial is not a scientific inquiry into truth.-Haines

Law never made man a whit more just - Henry David Thoreau

Laws not enforced cease to be laws, Rights not defended wither away-T. Morairty

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shovelling smoke. -  Oliver Holmes Jr.

Leadership is Action, not position.  - Donald H. McGannon

Learn to reason forward and backward on both sides of a question.-Thomas Blandi

Let him turn and twist slowly in the wind.- John Ehrlichman

Let there be spaces in your togetherness - Kahil Gibran

Let us not burden our rememberances with a heaviness that is gone - Shakespeare

Let us train our minds to desire what the situation demands.- Seneca (4BC-65AD)

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. - Will Rogers

Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.-Kierkegaard

Life is not a spectacle or a feast, it is a predicament - George Santayana

Life is progress from want to want, not enjoyment to enjoyment.- Samuel Johnson

Life is the art of being well decieved. - William Haxlitt (1778-1830)

Life is what happens to us when we are making other plans. -Thomas La Mance

Like a struggling spiritualist slipping her card into a passing coffin-D.Marlowe

Like challenging a school of phiranas to a game of water polo.-Thomas Middleton

Like telling a man going to the electric chair he has a choice of AC or DC-G.Ace

Like using a guillotine to cure dandruff. - Clare B. Luce

Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so - Henry Shaw

Living is entirely too time-consuming. - Irene Peter.

Lo! Men have become the tools of their tools. - Henry David Thoreau

Logic is an instrument used for bolstering a prejudice. - Joseph Wood Krutch

Logic is like the sword: Those who appeal to it shall perish by it-Samuel Butler

Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence. - Joseph W. Krutch

Logic is the soul of wit, not wisdom - that's why wit is funny. - L. Steffens

Lord give me chastity - but not yet.   Saint Augustine (354-430)

Lord, Grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish - Michaelangelo

Love doesn't make the world go 'round, it makes the ride worthwhile -F. P. Jones

Love thy enemy - it will drive him nuts. - Elanor Doan

Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood. - Louise Beal

Loyalty is one thing a leader cannot do without. - A.P.Gouthey

Loyalty to a petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a soul-M.Twain

Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable. - Bergen Evans

Man - a being in search of meaning. -Plato (427-347 BC)

Man is Creation's masterpiece; but who says so? - Elbert Hubbard

Man is a social animal. - Baruch Spinoza (1632-1677)

Man is but a reed, the most weak in nature, but he is a thinking reed.-B. Pascal

Man is designed to be a comprehensivist - Buckmister Fuller

Man is nature's sole mistake. - W.S. Gilbert

Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not clear to him-Elridge

Man is the measure of all things. - Protagoras (5th cent BC)

Man is what he believes. - Anton Chekhov

Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true. - Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist. - Anon

Many excelled me: I know it/Yet I am quoted as much as they.-Ovid (his epitaph)

Many live by their wits, but few live by their wit.-Lawerence J. Peter

Many of the insights of the saint stem from his experience as a sinner.-E.Hoffer

Many people's tombstones should read 'Died at 30, buried at 60' - N.M.Butler

Marge and I are insufferable friends. - Jane Ace

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures. - Remy de Gourmont

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.-Colton

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution-Mae West

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. - George Jessel

Martyrdom is the only way which a man may become famous without ability.-Shaw

Martyrs set bad examples. - David Russell

Masterpieces are no more than the shipwrecked flotsam of great minds.- Proust

May you get to heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead. -Proverb

Medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease-Voltaire

Mediocre men often have the most acquired knowledge. - Claude Bernard

Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. -O'Malley

Memory is what tells a man his wife's birthday was yesterday. - Mario Rocco

Men can do all things if they will. - Leon Battista Alberti (1404-1472)

Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Men seldom make passes at a girl who surpasses. - Franklin P. Jones

Men take only their needs into consideration, never their abilities-N. Bonaparte

Men who use terrorism as a means to power rule by terror when in power-MacInnes

Men...employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.- Voltaire

Middle age is when the best exercise is one of discretion. - Lawerence Peter

"During almost fifteen centuries the legal establishment of Christianity has
 been upon trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride
 and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both,
 superstition, bigotry, and persecution."
 - James Madison -
